Where You Live and Sleep Most of the Time
by Rose Stetson
Summary: What if you don't live and sleep most of the time on the planet Earth and the Census person comes knocking at your door?


**Where You Live and Sleep Most of the Time**

_Inspired by the 2010 Census (and my work as an Enumerator)_

Summary: What if you don't live and sleep most of the time on the planet Earth and the Census person comes knocking at your door?

Pairing: SJ

Just plain, unadulterated fluff

Disclaimer: Don't own them, never will, and am eternally grateful that I can borrow them whenever my muse feels the need...

* * *

"O'Neill," Jack answered as the phone rang, interrupting the silence of his office in the Pentagon.

"Hi, it's me," Sam greeted somewhat nervously.

"Carter!" He cried in surprise as he looked up from his paperwork. "Back from the _George Hammond_?"

"Temporarily," she affirmed. "You know...leave while it undergoes scheduled maintenance..."

"In other words, you're going crazy."

She laughed softly. "No, I'm not going crazy. It's actually kind of nice to be back on the ground."

"I can appreciate that," he said, honestly. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, actually, I had a question," she said, sounding a great deal more like the regulatory and sometimes unsure Captain Carter from years ago than the steadfastly confident Colonel Carter she'd grown into.

"Shoot."

"Well, the Census woman came by today...she asked me to count myself where I live and sleep most of the time."

"So?"

"So...that's not even on this planet anymore..." She said, seriously.

"Yeah, but they have a spot on the questionnaire where you can indicate that you're in the military, and the personnel folks fill that out for troops stationed on base or on assignment..."

"Which is why I told her I'm usually at a military base, just like I did the last time the Census came around, but..."

"But what?"

"Well, it just got me thinking...I'm not on the planet most of the time, let alone the country."

"Carter, you get dangerous when you start thinking," he teased softly.

He could see her blush even though he was speaking to her over the telephone. "I know...I just..."

"Look, one person isn't going to throw the Census off that much," he said with an affectionate smile. "So, if you're worried that there's going to be one too many represenatives in the House of Representatives or an extra hospital somewhere because you've been counted in Colorado Springs when really you're travelling between galaxies, I think the country will survive."

"I know it will...that's not what I was saying..."

"It just got you curious," he furnished.

"Exactly."

He laughed softly. "Well, as much as I'd like to continue talking about the implications of that, I think you'd better call Daniel because I have a TON of paperwork to get done before I get home."

"Oh, right."

"I am an Air Force general with enormous responsibility after all," he teased with twinkling eyes.

"Right." He could hear her mega-watt smile in the tone of her voice. "I should let you go."

"Hey, Carter," he called, hoping that she hadn't hung up yet.

"Yes?"

"You don't have a house anymore. How'd the Census folks find you?"

There was silence on the other end of the conversation for a moment. "Well...I wasn't exactly at my house...I was at a...friend's...He'd forgotten to fill out his Census questionnaire, so I, uh, filled it out for him."

"Wish someone would do that for me," he murmured. "I've gotten so many of those stupid notice of visit things..."

Sam coughed in an effort to catch his attention.

"What?"

"Check your caller ID. I don't have a phone either..."

He looked over at the phone's cradle to find his home phone number. A small half-smile flitted onto his lips. "Thanks, Carter. You're an angel."

"Careful. Men who think I'm an angel tend to die..."

"Yeah, well..." He chuckled softly. "Look, Carter, I'm taking the rest of the day off. Think of something you wanna do, okay?"

"I've, uh, got a few ideas..."

"Oh?"

"Just hurry home, Jack. I have that, uh, "sweet little tank top number" in my bag."

Jack grinned. "Oh, Carter..."

"You know, this could make my Census questionnaire a little more complicated," she mused aloud.

"How so?"

"Well...when on Earth, I have a regular place I come to live and sleep..."

"Well, live," Jack grinned. "Not so much "sleep"..."

"Depends on your definition, I guess," she said, allowing Jack to hear her sweetly innocent blushes over the phone as he thought to himself of how proud of the fact that he was the one who made her blush...Pete and the host of ex-boyfriends before him hadn't made her blush like he could make her blush.

"Be there in ten, Carter," he said with a grin. "We'll talk more about where you live and sleep most of the time when I get there."

"Yes, sir."

"Hey, Sam?" He asked as the phone became somewhat quiet again.

"Yes, Jack?"

"Love you."

He could see the smile on her face as he waited for her response. "Me too."


End file.
